Easiest of Crimes
by NoSecretsHere
Summary: Theodore Nott smirked from behind the rim of his coffee cup. The Daily Prophet lay on the table in front of him. The weight of new galleons in his pockets. Malfoy Heir Found Murdered In Home. It was too easy.


Author's Note: For the **_Crime and Mystery AU Challenge_**. My prompts: mustard and perjure.

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it.

/

Theodore Nott smirked from behind the rim of his coffee cup. The Daily Prophet lay on the table in front of him. The weight of new galleons in his pockets.

**Malfoy Heir Found Murdered In Home**

The headline screamed big news. Everyone in the cafe had a copy of the newspaper, whispering somberly amongst themselves. The redeemed Death Eater, killed. It was the biggest story to hit the news since Hermione Granger getting pregnant before marriage.

Lucky her at that. He didn't make a habit of killing pregnant women, nor did he like to leave babies fatherless. That meant that Ron Weasley was also off his list of future victims.

Shame really. He had been looking forward to getting his hands on him. All those post-war hero payments would have made a hefty addition to his growing bank account.

Theo placed down his coffee cup and wiped his hands against his dress pants. All the people sitting around him saw a young handsome business man. They had no idea exactly what stuff he did late at night. The kind of blood he had on his hands. The kind of way he got his money.

Those poor rich war heroes. They never saw it coming.

With a smile, he lifted the newspaper. It was always pleasurable to read about his victim's deaths. Sometimes it was the best part. It was like reliving the kill over again-without the mess that is.

His eyes skimmed through the article that described Draco Malfoy's mutilated limbs. He smiled fondly in memory when they spoke of evidence that he had put up fight. (Draco was never one to go down easy.) He froze though when he came across the final paragraph.

**_A note found at the crime scene from the victim is now the key evidence in the search for the killer of this latest murder. It has been speculated that it is the same person who killed Anthony Goldstein, Terry Boot, and Susan Bones. _**

A note!? Malfoy had left a bloody note!? He had always been too smart for a Slytherin. What could it possibly say? Was it even legible?

The thought made Theo chuckle. When he had left him, Draco could barely move his upper torso. Whatever note he managed to scrawl, couldn't have been easy to read.

It was probably a crude attempt at his name. Not that it mattered if the police questioned him. Perjury could be a fun pastime. Without evidence of his DNA on the crime scene without reason- Draco and he had a few drinks of course- they could force any form of truth potion down his throat.

Lying would be far too easy.

"Here's your check," The waitress, the beautiful Hannah Abott, told him. Her pale slim hand placed the slip of paper onto his table with the small smile of a once classmate. Theo looked her up and down. For a Hufflepuff she was good looking.

Hannah's eyes drifted to the paper on his table.

"Merlin. Sad isn't it? Poor Malfoy. Hopefully the note will help. Gross though that it was written in his blood," Hannah shivered.

"Blood?" Theo asked, raising a single brow at her.

Hannah blushed bright pink. She looked cautiously over her shoulder at the surrounding tables making sure no one was listening

"Harry may have mentioned that to a co-worker earlier this morning during their coffee stop," she confessed.

Theo smirked. Life was too easy.

"Did you hear what the note said?" Theo smiled up at her, reaching out to softly trace circle's on the back of Hannah's hand.

Hannah turned even a brighter shade of pink.

"Apparently it said one thing- mustard. If that makes any sense," Hannah stammered.

Theo almost stopped his tracing fingers. Almost.

Mustard. Only those from the Slytherin inner circles would know about the connection. None of them would link it to him though. An all gentleman's club founded in their sixth year. Probably link it to Zabini, the founder of the club. Instead of him, the one who named it.

Theo was the true pureblood gentlemen of the group. Intelligent, handsome, and classy. He had every pureblood lady and man wrapped around his fingers.

"Tell me Hannah. Are you busy tonight?" Theo asked, fully grasping her hand in his.

"N-no," Hannah stuttered.

"How would you like to go out to dinner with me then?" Theo asked.

"Yes! I mean sure," Hannah corrected her original overly enthusiastic reply.

Theo patted her hand affectionately. Perhaps he would make her dead faster. She was a pretty little thing.

There would be time for that though. Even with Malfoy's elusive note, he wouldn't be caught.

/

1 Week Later

**Blaise Zabini Arrested for Murder of Hannah Abott and Others**

Theo placed his coffee mug down with a smirk. He pulled out double the needed amount of money and left it on the table. Smiling at the newest waitress, Cho Chang, he winked.

Life was too fun.

/

Author's Note. For the **_Crime and Mystery AU Challenge. _**Prompts: Perjure and Mustard.

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